Left Behind
by Aislin96
Summary: You are playing with fire, Granger. Maybe you are not the brightest witch of your age. Things have changed. I have power over you. Nobody will protect you this time. No help from heaven. No last minute rescues. I can do whatever I want with you...
1. Chapter 1

**_DISCLAIMER: I unfortunately do not own the HP world, it all belongs to JK!_**

People liked to think that Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley had run off for a perilous adventure because they were brave and they would save the wizarding world. People also liked to think that Hermione Granger had been left behind for her safety. She liked to believe it was true. Deep down in her heart, though, she knew it wasn't. They had run off without her because they probably didn't want her in the way. Old bossy, bookworm Hermione would be only a nuisance.

" Earth to 'Mione! You've been off lately... what is it?" A red-haired girl broke through her thoughts.

" Nothing, I was only thinking about Harry and Ron... I just wish I was with them."

" Me too... if only they could send us a message, let us know how they're faring..." She was visibly sad and Hermione could empathize with her. Ginny had lost her boyfriend to the unknown. He was somewhere out there with her brother, in the grip of a deadly danger. Two of the most important people in her life could die any moment. For Hermione it was different. They were her best friends all right, but not family. Ginny's position was much more difficult. The younger girl squeezed her hand. " It's going to be alright, 'Mione. They are going to be back, once they are over with their mission..." Obviously Ginny ignored the goal of the mission. She knew nothing of Horcruxes...

" I hope what you say is true..." She half-heartedly replied. Ginny was being rather optimistic. What if something happened? What if there wasn't enough time? What if...?

Just then, the compartment doors of the train opened. Two tall men dressed in black pushed in, threat written all over their demeanour. Death eaters. They were checking, looking for something or rather... _someone_. Their eyes instilling terror. Hermione thought she recognized one of the two, but couldn't come up with a name.

" My father will hear of this..." a Cormac McLaggen at his very dorkiest stood up. Did he _really_ think this would actually help the situation? The death eaters just glared at him. He was a pureblood and not worth their _loving_ attentions.

" _He_ is not here." Neville stated. His hands were clenched in fists and his glare was bravely defying them. As if trying to challenge them, he pressed on. " You won't find _him_." Merlin, this took guts and Hermione couldn't conceal her stunned admiration. He had grown out of the shy, clumsy boy he had once been. This was a new him. Strong and confident. The death eaters got closer. Their eyes blazing with fury.

" Longbottom, is it? I strongly suggest you shut up. Now." Neville sat down, his glare never faltering. The death eater who had spoken, turned to Ginny and Hermione. His eyes stopped on her, scrutinizing her face. That was when she realized what a mistake her friend had made, drawing their attention. She was a liability now.

" Dolohov, ain't this Potter's mudblood sidekick?" he smirked. Dolohov. Antonin Dolohov. That was the name that had eluded her mind's eye. He was an _undesirable_. Well _ex-_undesirable after the fall of the Ministry... Priorities had changed. Values shifted. Anyway, the aurors had been looking for him since he had escaped Azkaban.

" Well, well... look at what we've got here. The mudblood princess. We'll make sure you'll thoroughly _enjoy _your stay at Hogwarts this year. Won't we? Potter will regret having left you behind. Wonder why he did... maybe he doesn't like you anymore?" He leered. " You were his bitch, weren't you?" He grasped her face and roughly tossed it back and forth, eyes hungry, feral. When he finally let her go, he whispered something to his comrade. Hermione heard the last part. " ...get her to Snape as soon as she arrives. You know the orders. He'll take care of her."

They left and carried on their _task_. Hermione expelled a breath of relief. She had been rather lucky. She wondered why nothing worse had happened. The two could have hurt, tortured or even killed her on the spot. They could have taken her prisoner and interrogated her... But she knew that what didn't happen here, would eventually happen at Hogwarts.

" You all right?" Neville interrupted her line of thought.

" Um... yes. At least nothing happened, right?" her two friends, looked at her with a mix of empathy and sorrow. Hermione's future was easily predictable but they would do anything in their power to protect her. Of this, she was sure. _They_ would not leave her.

OoOoOoO

Draco Malfoy sat besides his Slytherin mates, completely tuned off. He was far away. Since the Astronomy tower fiasco, he had changed.

Because of his cowardice Voldemort had punished him and his family. He didn't want to remember. He absently touched a scar on his arm. It still hurt even after all these months. As much as he hated that old Dumbledore geezer, he couldn't... just couldn't utter those two words. But failing to complete a task for the Dark Lord had consequences. And they weren't pleasant.

He had begged for a second chance, which in the end was given to him. Voldemort would follow closely his behaviour this year. He might even appoint him new tasks. He needed to gain his trust back. Or else who knew what would be of the ancient and noble house of the Malfoys? He felt all the burden of failure on his back. It was his fault and he had to make up for his _misdeed_.

Probably he'd only have to prove his dedication to the cause, reassert his hate for mudbloods and traitors. A little torture here and there which he could even enjoy... but... no. The very thought of it made him sick. Dumbledore's words echoed in his mind... he definitely didn't have the guts. As long as it was limited to bullying he could cope. But this was something else... he wasn't sure of anything. Anymore.

He wondered if Potter and his friends were actually there. Knowing the trio, they could. Their pathetic Gryffindor recklessness would get them killed one day. But sure the mudblood wouldn't dare. She wouldn't risk coming. Experience should have taught her well. _She might even end up being my little torture plaything..._ but again, he couldn't linger too long on that thought. He was torn. The image of the mudblood being tortured... couldn't decide if he liked it or not. After all she had been the bane of his existence. Her blood was filthy and he had always desired to see her beaten, humiliated, expelled from the magic world. Maybe she did deserve it...

" Draco, we're nearly there..." Pansy purred.

" Sure..."

" What's with you, these days? You are so gloomy. What can I do to get back my old Drake?" She kissed him lightly on the lips. Without her noticing he rolled his eyes. She still thought they were together. Pansy was only a saucy object to be used for his _needs_ but she really didn't get it. It was the same for all the other Slytherin blokes in his year. Zabini... even Nott. Theo was a bit of a loner but even he could not resist her easy feminine appeal. She was good for a night or two but that was it. Same for Astoria. Slytherins knew where to go, if they ever had... urgencies.

" I heard the Carrows are taking over Defence against the Dark Arts and Muggle Studies. This year is going to be entertaining..." commented Blaise with a smirk. Draco didn't reply.

OoOoOoO

Hermione got onto one of the carriages along with Ginny and Neville. Luna joined them too. She was reading a copy of 'The quibbler'. The front page read: _Death Eaters on the dancefloor!_

Even after the attack at Bill and Fleur's wedding, Xenophilius hadn't lost his eccentric edge and neither had Luna. Hermione kind of envied them. She had lost her fighting streak since then. Harry and Ron had disapparated right under her nose, leaving her in the middle of a raging battle. They had been talking for days about their Horcruxes hunt arrangements but clearly the boys had decided that she wasn't needed. She had planned meticulously, gathering provisions for a long stay in the wild. She had obliviated her parents... Her heart still bleeding for that heinous act of love. Her best friends' abandon had cut through her like only the blade of betrayal does. She was left with little hope to spare. In a world rejecting her very being with no chance to find shelter in another world. She was a non-person in a no-place.

Luna lifted her eyes over her father's newspaper and spoke in her usual subdued tone.

" Hermione, you look as pale as a wrackspurt..."

" Aren't they invisible?" Neville interjected innocently.

" Not with spectrespecs. They are actually very pale creatures..." her voice had its usual dreamlike quality.

" I'm fine, just need some rest..."

Ginny whispered into her ear shortly after: " I find she's a little too insightful sometimes..." Hermione smiled. It was true.

A tense silence followed the short exchange. The more they got close to the castle, the more fright built up. They didn't know what to expect from their last year at Hogwarts. The place that had once been shelter, safety and comfort was now a place of dread.

**_Hope you liked the first chapter! Please review and tell me what you think :)_**


	2. Chapter 2

**_Hey there! Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I truly appreciate all your comments and tips. I really treasure your advices, since English is not my first language and I'm a very young writer ^_^_**

**_Anyway, here you go! Enjoy chapter 2!_**

Hermione stepped down from the carriage, her lingering fear flaring up to unspeakable levels. Death eaters were now guarding all the main entrances to the castle supported by a few scruffy looking snatchers. She spotted Dolohov's comrade speaking in harsh tones to Malfoy. She couldn't hear what they were talking about but when she got closer, they stopped and looked up. Draco was smirking, his eyes mocking and menacing at the same time.

"Do as I told you Draco," the spiky haired death eater commanded.

"Got it, Rowle."

He turned to her, grabbing forcefully her arm. Pureblood brand gentleness. She struggled against his grasp trying too free herself but couldn't. His hold was strong, relentless. Their gazes met for a moment. A moment which seemed to stretch in a singular time suspension. She shook herself out of it breaking their little oh-so-weird eye-contact. This was preposterous. Definitely preposterous.

"What do you think you're doing Malfoy?" she asked incredulous.

"What I'm supposed to," his answer put her immediately in an awfully bad mood. His cockiness got on her nerves. Always had. She looked back at her friends, her eyes pleading. Their expressions were tense, alarmed. She couldn't help but relate to their feelings.

"I'll be fine. I'll meet you in the common room, ok?" she tried to look self confident but visibly wasn't. Malfoy rolled his eyes at her predictable Gryffindork display of inane _braveness. _He shoved her forward and proceeded to pull her into the castle.

"May I at least know where you are taking me?" she asked. He didn't answer. His arrogant sneer plastered on his face... and still she thought she saw a glimpse of sadness in his grey eyes. "Answer me!" she pressed on. He stopped and turned to her, her wrist still trapped in his iron grasp. "Don't you dare give me orders, Mudblood."

"Looks like you're quite prone to take them anyway... You know, from your little dark _friends_."

"You are playing with fire, Granger. Maybe you are not _the brightest witch of your age_. Things have changed. I _have_ power over you. _Nobody _will protect you this time. No help from heaven. No last minute rescues. I can do whatever I want with you..." he crushed her body against his unyelding frame, his last words brushing against her ear like gentle poison.

"Don't touch me!" she cried in outrage.

"I wish I didn't have to. You're so filthy..." But he let her go resuming his rude pushing and pulling. She was disconcerted. Malfoy had just sort of agreed with her... well, in his usual _charming_ way. As they strode through the corridors, she covertly peeped at him. She couldn't shake off the feeling he was purposely avoiding her eyes. He probably just didn't want to look at a Mudblood...

OoOoOoO

Draco waited outside Headmaster Snape's office. He had let Hermione in, just as he was told. He would probably have to _escort_ her back.

He was sure the Dark Lord was going to use her as a bait. Potter and his weasel sidekick would rush back to Hogwarts to save their precious little bookworm. Fools! But for the moment the Dark Lord trusted his godfather to _make good use _of her resorting to whatever measures he deemed necessary. She might have important information to share... still he couldn't hear any noise coming from behind the polished oak door with the hideous griffin brass knocker. One would expect all kind of gruesome screaming, shrieking, begging... but nothing. Maybe he had cast a silencing charm or simply administered Veritaserum.

He slid down against the wall and sat on the cold stone floor. He really didn't now how long he'd have to wait before getting new directives. A more relaxed posture helped thinking. Even if thinking right now meant having ominous thoughts. He let his mind stray away from dangerous paths and focused instead on what had happened just a few minutes earlier with Gran... the Mudblood. She had a unique way to annoy him. No one else had such an irritating effect on his mood. Her little mind games, her patronizing lectures, her nerve wrecking whinings... How could she even think to question his authority in such a situation? She knew the risk she would face coming back to Hogwarts. An effin mouse in the snake nest. Literally. He himself had a limited amount of... _tolerance_. If she kept on challenging his authority something unpleasant could happen. Very unpleasant indeed. The idea made him smirk. And yet... there was a nagging, uncomfortable feeling pushing at the edge of his consciousness. A sense of wonder stirred by the innocence, the vulnerability of her doe-like eyes. Merlin, the word _pure _kept on making a nasty appearance in the deepest, darkest corners of his mind. Like an elusive but persistent ghost. He had noticed it for the very first time today. She was a creature to be left untouched... _Wait! It's the Mudblood we are talking about... Get a grip for Salazar's sake! _He tried to kick the image of her syrupy eyes out of his head. Such musings were really pathetic. Weak. Dangerous.

OoOoOoO

"I will ask you one more time, miss Granger. Where are Potter and Weasley?" he bent over the table and pierced her with his dark tunnels of eyes. They were as black as wickedness.

"He trusted you... _We_ trusted you. And now you really think I'm going to tell you?" her words were broken by sobs. Wet with angry, searing tears.

"Stop whining and answer my question." Hermione wondered why he wouldn't just use Legilimency or Veritaserum and take what he needed. So easy and effortless for a powerful legilimens and a potion master... why bothering with this farce of an interrogation?

"I've already told you. I don't know anything and even if I did I wouldn't tell you. It's my best friends we are talking about. People I love... Not that you would understand the concept."

"You may exit this room. Now." His voice was cutting, cold. With a kind of blazing undercurrent she could not really pinpoint. Ice enveloped fire. He pulled out his wand making her shrink under its ebony threat. But it turned out to be a simple unlocking charm. The huge oak door burst open

"Go. _Now_." She got up slowly, weary of his reactions. The tears staining her cheeks were drying out. She couldn't move her facial muscles without tearing painfully at her skin. As she stepped out, she found Malfoy guarding the door like a gargoyle. She hated for him to see her in this state. She didn't want to show any weakness to the enemy. Obviously he noticed and immediately invested himself in his teasing, mocking routine. "Been crying, haven't we Granger? Hope it hurt." he sneered. She didn't even bother to reply. It was always the same old song with him so why giving him the satisfaction of a spiteful retort?

He grasped her wrist again and made to descend the spiral stone staircase. She hoped she'd be taken to the Gryffindor common room. She craved safety. She craved care. And that was the only place in the world where she could find both.

To her astonishment he did.

"Password Granger?" he asked bored.

"I think I can continue on my own now. Don't even think I'm going to reveal anything to you." She replied through gritted teeth. He glared at her but his mouth twitched suspiciously.

"You know, I can have _anyone_ telling me your stupid password. A little legilimency here, a touch of imperio there. I don't think you really understand your situation. You. Will. Do. As. I. Say."

"I don't think I will. I still have a wand. Don't forget it." She shoved her hand in her pocket, just for emphasis sake. His eyes followed the motion, a look of contempt marring his finely chiselled features.

"We'll see if you have one tomorrow. Don't take anything for granted, Granger." He stormed away and left her there fuming. _Arrogant prat!_

OoOoOoO

Draco paced inside the Slytherin dungeon-like common room. He was mad. The little vermin thought she had him on her leash... Did she really expect everyone to be so merciful with her? Because no one would be. Not Snape. Not the Carrows. Not the Dark Lord.

_Why did I just leave like an obedient puppy? Bloody hell! She deserved a punishment. And a severe one at that. _

Perfect. He wasn't even in control of his actions now. Maybe his mind was being so manipulated he couldn't think for himself anymore. The ultimate humiliation. Probably it was exactly what the Dark Lord had wanted all along...

But he couldn't and wouldn't be treated like a puppet. Not by a filthy little Mudblood. He had to regain his position within the castle hierachies. He was a death eater and as one of them, he would get respect. Starting from tomorrow. Muggle studies in his first period. Perfect. No better way to start a new year.

OoOoOoO

Hermione sat next to Neville. She looked at the classroom. It had changed so much. Not that she used to take this course but she had seen professor Burbage at work a few times. They would discuss, test and experiment so much. It was fun. Now a bare squallor was all to be seen. Nothing of the playful atmosphere was left over. No muggle objects and contraptions, only textbooks on every desk. She didn't even want to read the titles. Probably something about the pureblood superiority or similar crappy propaganda. But it was compulsory, there was no way she could hide or run away from it.

Alecto Carrow had even changed the curriculum and Hermione knew that she was a primary target of her _new order_. Ahead she could picture a long year of torture, spite, humiliation... Slytherins would rejoice. Just what each and every one of them had always wished for. The object of their day and night dreaming.

As the proverbial _lupus in fabula_, Malfoy walked in. His usual arrogant smirk barely disguising the underlying weariness. Hermione could see through it all too well. He probably did not sleep well lately. She didn't even want to imagine what Voldemort had done to him after he'd failed to kill Dumbledore. When he turned his eyes to her, his condescending smirk faltered for a moment, replaced by something she couldn't really read...

OoOoOoO

Draco sat next to Blaise. Pansy was behind him and she was sending him heated gazes. He sighed wondering when she'd understand once and for all that he wasn't interested. Zabini nodded slightly before going back to his reading. Apparently it was a new textbook: _Muggles and the dangers they place. _This was going to be fun.

Just then Alecto walked in. Uglier than ever. She was a short, fat witch with black, greasy hair and a perpetual sneer on her mouth. She disgusted him. A true horror to behold.

She made to talk and cleared her throat. The class fell silent. She giggled and started her lecture.

"Welcome to muggle studies. I hope this year will be more... meaningful and fruitful than the past ones..." she kept on blathering and he struggled to listen and not to get lost in some far away thought land.

"...Muggles are animals... stupid, dirty creatures who forced wizards to go into hiding. They are vicious and have no respect for people superior to them in every aspect."

Or another time:

"... Mudbloods are an _abomination._ Their blood is dirty, they do not deserve the gift of magic. They stole it to infiltrate and pollute our society..." She cast a look at Granger, who immediately looked down.

Draco stared intently at her, curious of her reaction but her face let no emotion out. _I hope she is listening carefully..._

_**Hope you liked it! Please review! :)**  
><em>


	3. Chapter 3

**_Hey everyone! Thanks again to the lovely people who reviewed! I'm happy you like it and hope you will continue liking it :) Anyway, here's chapter 3! ^^_**

Hermione stormed out of the classroom. The lesson had finally come to an end. Unbearable. She couldn't listen to this crap for the whole year. And she couldn't even answer back in fear of the oh-so-predictable dire consequences. Alecto was a blood-thirsty sadist. The world, the way she had known it, was burning down. Both physically and metaphorically. _How? How? _

She rushed out of the corridor straight into the girls' bathroom. She dropped her books on the floor and crushed to the sinks splashing cold water on her face. The mirror reflected the image of a pale, young girl, brown curly hair and shiny eyes. Shiny with unshed tears, that made them somewhat less dark, almost honey tinged. But she wouldn't let those tears fall on her cheeks. Not now. Not ever.

Closing her eyes, she turned around, her back resting against the marble sinks. She sighed and opened them again. What she saw brought back cherished memories. The visual echo of three children intent on brewing a potion resounded. Two boys laughing and chatting, whilst the girl mixed ingredients. So young and yet so eager to break rules and get in trouble.

Hermione knew now that _real_ problems were still far away back then.

As the sweet and sour memory started to wane, she felt empty. They used to be so close. They had always gone through everything together... Things had changed. Harry and Ron weren't there. They were yellowing pictures in her mind. She was left alone to fend for herself. And that hurt. Deeply.

The choice of going back to Hogwarts, was suicidal, she knew. But if she couldn't be with her two best friends, help them, keep them out of danger, then she was lost. She knew that without them she was purposeless. Almost indefinite, formless, like a drop of water in the sea. There was no real reason to fight a lost battle on her own. Or to cowardly – and probably vainly – trying to hide away. At least the castle was a familiar place, where she could spend some time with other people she'd known for years. Until some day, when Voldemort would come for her. When Snapes' _armless_ questions wouldn't be so armless anymore.

She could feel the end getting closer.

OoOoOoO

Draco walked to his next class. The classroom was on the other side of the castle and he took his time. Hogwarts had eerily fell silent just like _that_ fateful night... The night Dumbledore was murdered. He struggled against the sudden onslaught of memories. Since that wretched night, the dying man's words had relentlessly resounded in his mind. They had become a kind of a sick, addictive penance. A haunting obsession.

_Damn it._

He crossed a corridor full of high, narrow windows. They filled the place with a pale, grey light. Hard edged beams cutting through his skin like ice blades.

He couldn't stand it anymore. He couldn't stand the gloomy, stifling atmosphere his breath seemed to have to push its way through.

His mood lightened up a little only when he reached his destination. A distraction, finally. As he got closer, he realized the lesson had already began.

OoOoOoO

Hermione turned abruptly as she heard the door opening. Malfoy came in. She observed him as he searched for a seat, his face hardening when he saw the only free one was besides her.

He locked his eyes with hers, making that puzzling eye contact again. She couldn't stop it. She clung to his quicksilver orbs, forgetting for a timeless moment it was Draco. She felt a twin resonance with their luring void. Not that she was attracted to him, or he to her, but she felt drawn to his eyes as if they were the door to an oblivious, peaceful elsewhere.

"Mr Malfoy, take a seat please." Professor McGonagall shook them back to reality.

Hermione blushed and dipped her nose into her textbook trying to concentrate on the subject at hand. She pretended not to feel his robes brushing against hers when he sat down.

But then again, why was she even thinking such a nonsense? She stored the disquieting thought in the farthest corner of her mind and locked it inside with ferocious determination.

OoOoOoO

"Didn't bother to listen. What do we have to do, Mud... Granger? '' He lamely amended.

She glared at him and pointed a finger to the page she was reading. "Page 7. Read and answer the questions on the next page."

"Fine." He sighed and turned to his work. Some crap about Advanced Transfiguration he wasn't really interested in.

He observed her while she took out her quill and parchment, starting to write like a possessed woman. She was totally absorbed and rarely glanced back to the text to answer the questions. The sound of her writing followed a lulling pattern. He could barely register it but found himself starting to relax. He entered a kind of trance, lead by the scent, the colour, the rhythm of her thoughts taking written shape.

_What the hell am I doing? Merlin, I should probably get checked!_

He was mad at himself. Irritated at his sudden bout of... softness.

He grasped her wrist and stopped its motion across the parchment, spilling quite a bit of ink.

"Stop your crazy scribbling, Mudblood! Now." He hissed in her ear.

"Look at what you've done!" She spat back angrily.

"Nothing you can't fix... _witch,_" he smirked, pleased with himself. Just then he noticed his relentless hold on her arm. He quickly released it as if scorched by a flame. He didn't want undesirable traces of her on his skin. Too much touching.

"Git." She shook her head and took out her wand. She muttered a spell under her breath cleaning up the mess.

"Whatever, Granger. As long as you stop clawing at your parchment. It gets on my nerves." A haughty dismissal tone ringing in his words.

"A good reason to keep doing it." She grunted.

"Shut up. You don't want to know what might happen if you answer again." She rolled her eyes, but didn't reply.

_Merlin, it worked..._

He got back to his work, stealing a look every now and then at Granger's parchment. He really wasn't in the mood of using his brains. Maybe he'd never be again. It bothered him that she was quite aware of his not so covert... consulting. A grin was starting to form on her face.

_How unusual..._

"Granger, my offer is still up, you know... torturing you until you beg me to stop."

"Well, you're the one copying me."

"I am not. Most certainly not."

"Of course you aren't."

"Granger, if you keep on provoking me, I might really do something _unpleasant_. You don't want anything bad to happen, do you? I hope you value your precious mudblood low life." He said punctuating the last three words.

"You couldn't be more wrong, Malfoy. The fact is, _I don't_. I really don't. There's no reason for me to be here, in this moment, enduring your ferret self. No one needs me to be..."

His gaping surprise was broken by professor McGonagall calling the end of the lesson. He watched the ex buck-toothed one third of the trio collect her stuff and rushing out of the classroom.

_So the mudblood's feeling suicidal... How tragic! The Weasel must have left her for some cheap bitch. And Scarhead followed suit. She's alone. Utterly and desperately alone. Her friends don't want her anymore. Interesting..._

Up until a few months ago, he would have had a good laugh at the ongoing Gryffindork drama, but now it just stirred in him a sort of detached curiosity swirling deep into the vacuum that was devouring him from the inside.

The world was in flames. Madness ruled. The trio wasn't so golden anymore.

OoOoOoO

"I hope no one listened to the crap Carrow piled up during her _class_..." Ginny said, playing distractedly with the food in her plate.

"All the Slytherins did. You should have seen the smirks on their faces..." Hermione tiredly replied.

"Yes. The ones in our year listened very carefully..." Neville added.

"Well, in sixth year there are just a few of them so they didn't bother me... too much"

"Lucky you..." Hermione sighed. Her thoughts wandered back to Malfoy... he really managed to get the worst out of her. Made her loose any semblance of control. She had basically spilled the fact that she didn't care about living anymore. She had given him the ultimate power. And she had no doubt he'd use it against her. After all he had a reputation to live up to.

"At least we have Herbology now..." Neville interjected with a dreamy look on his face. Ginny looked at Hermione for a split second and the two burst out laughing. First time in a very long time.

OoOoOoO

Draco glanced towards the Gryffindor table. He saw Granger with the Weasley girl and Longbottom laughing out loud. _Disconcerting. Just when you think you have figured out thy enemy... There. Laughs. NO tears. Freaking laughs. I thought I would never see her like this again... Light and lightness. Wait, did I just think that?_

"Drake, why always so pensive these days?" Pansy broke through his musings. Again.

"Having a problem with it?" He bit out.

"Oh no, no. Just looking after you..." she winked. " When are we going to spend some quality time together?"

"I don't know." He rolled his eyes. The last thing he wanted was spending some_ quality time _with Pansy. He knew exactly what she was after. She could well give it up. No time for it. He had other things to think about. More pressing matters at hand. If only he could start to figure them out...

OoOoOoO

Herbology. One of the few subjects that made her feel at ease. Relaxed. Along with Care of Magical Creatures. They were like an escape route to her. Plants, animals... Creatures incapable of hate.

"Be careful 'Mione..." Neville was grafting a plant and she was helping him out.

"Sorry, Neville. I'm just very distracted these days." She looked at him with pleading, guilty eyes and he nodded. He wasn't angry, just took his herbology assignments very seriously.

"Ok, thanks for the help! Next step I can do alone... mind getting some more of these buds?" He pointed to the delicate pale yellow shoots.

She sighed and walked towards the mother plant. Obviously the way was not obstacle free...

"Going somewhere, Granger?" he positioned himself in front of her, blocking her passage.

_How predictable..._

"Mind letting me pass?" she asked, her words oozing with boredom.

"I do get you're alone after _they _abandoned you, but no need to be so bitter. Really." He smirked.

She felt the anger boil in her blood only partially dulled by an undercurrent of sadness and longing. She muttered a wandless spell under her breath and Malfoy found himself funnily disjointed against the working table. She proceeded to move on, her heart feeling very heavy.

**_Well, what did you think? Please review and tell me! :D_**


	4. Chapter 4

**_Hi! Well, here's chapter 4 :) Just wanted to answer to a couple of people who reviewed: _**

_**DracoLurver-MrsFelton: I actually meant it just the way I wrote it ^_^ Thanks for your tips/criticism anyway!  
><strong>_

_**Thesistersblack4998**_: _**I think (and I hope) there will be more Luna in the following chapters**_!_** ;)**_

Instead of going to the cupboard and taking the buds, just as she was told, Hermione walked out of the greenhouse, finding shelter in the silent castle walls.

She was tired of being ordered about. For once, she'd make her own decisions.

Malfoy's words kept on blinding her mind's eye and she just couldn't cope with it. He had read her heart like an open book - twisted, cunning little prick - and now he'd use his oh-so-slithering insight as a deadly weapon to pursue his sick, petty pleasure. He'd never stop toruring her.

_If only Ron and Harry were here..._

But obviously she couldn't rely on them. Her inner mantra kept on chanting they were _not_ there with her. Not there _for_ her.

OoOoOoO

Draco pulled himself back together. He looked around, his brand sneer at full mode. No one had seemed to notice. Grager's attempt at reshaping his looks had been at best... disheartened. Thanks Salazar. Sometimes... well, most of the times she really didn't think before acting. Bloody Gryffindors!

_Merlin, she knows who I am. And still..._

Enough. He could play all the mind games he wanted with her, right? If something happened, he'd have the authority - and the pleasure - to punish her. Time to annoy the filthy mudblood with a few... personal questions. He wouldn't be humiliated again.

He rushed behind her, determination setting harshly on his sharp features. There she was, leaning against one of the unyielding stone pillars, shoulders sagging in defeat. Her face shadowed by the jungle of ringlets framing it. It definitely didn't look like she was in a chatty mood.

_Uh, uh too bad for you, mudblood._

"Granger, having a little cry? Missing your little friends with benefits?" he leered.

"Malfoy..." she warned flashing him a murdering stare.

"Wrong answer. Try again."

She got closer, cheeks aflame, hands trembling. She could barely contain her fury.

"And why should I tell you?"

"Because _I_ asked you." He wispered stepping dangerously into her personal space. His poisonous voice hovering just over her ear.

"That's exactly why I'm not going to tell you." She seethed, taking a few steps back as if to put some distance between them.

"Trust me. I can make you. But let me guess... Potter and the Weasel will not come for you. They don't want you anymore, do they? You bore them to death with your insufferable know it all attitude. That's why you've been brooding all this time..." he closed the distance between them again, a nasty smirk plastered on his face. He was trying to make her feel as uncomfortable as possible.

Tears started to form in her eyes. The struggle to restrain them vain.

"The Weasel has a name!" she cried.

"Does he now? It doesn't change the fact that he left you behind, my poor, poor mongrel. He isn't interested in his pet anymore, is he?" he mocked.

One tiny pearl drew a lazy track along her cheek and she quickly wiped it away with her sleeve.

"You know, all this time... I thought that deep down you had some good in you. Buried in that black soul of yours was some pity, some kindness. I thought you were only being brainwashed by that sorry excuse for a human being that is your _father. _Following your death eater buddies' orders. I thought you were only slave of your fear..." he made to retort but she pressed on. "Instead, you're only a little, evil, spoiled prat. And a very pathetic one." Her words were biting and bitter. Cutting like a blade.

Before he could reply, she had vanished from his view.

OoOoOoO

Hermione shut the dorm's door behind, the back of her hand still wiping her cheeks. She collapsed on the bed and let the floodgates open. She just couldn't help it. What Malfoy had said, it was spiteful, yes. Rotten to the core. Specifically designed to hurt...

_It doesn't change the fact that he left you behind, my poor, poor mongrel. He isn't interested in his pet anymore, is he?_

And yet she realised how true his words were in the end. They left her. _He_ left her.

_Ron doesn't love me after all..._

She pictured the red-haired boy, the way she had last seen him at Fleur and Bill's wedding. Eyes smiling upon her like the clearest of sky. They were gliding on the dance floor, all the worries temporarily forgotten. She couldn't possibly have imagined that in a few minutes he'd disapparate leaving only the chilling touch of emptiness in her arms. The confused images of the caos ensuing didn't manage to erase the shock... And the hurt.

She had waited for hours hoping they'd be back. Looking wistfully out of Ginny's bedroom window, hoping to hear the peculiar bang of an apparition and see the familiar grins of her two best friends. How naive of her. How hopeless.

_How could they?_

Rage flared deep down in her chest. They knew they wouldn't last long without her. They knew _she _wouldn't last long in Hogwarts. Or anywhere else without their support. Without the power and the miracle of their joined differences. Both in skills and personalities. And yet they decided not to care. So what if she'd be dead before the end of the school year? What if Malfoy was messing with her mind, sowing the seed of doubt? The seed of desperation.

_No. There must have been a reason! They must have a reason..._

Ronald loved her and so did Harry. She had to try and cling to this flickering certainty while groping in the dark.

She laid on the bed, just letting her mind wheel turn. Time passed, with her counting every single second of it.

OoOoOoO

_What a crazy, little bitch! How dare she insult me, my family... my father! _

Draco punched one of the dark wood door frames in the Slytherin common room, before resting his forehead against it and shutting his heavy eyelids.

_She_ had this way of grating on his nervs, stirring the strangest impulses out of his _black soul._ This way of making him feel... Well, just feel. Feel what he shouldn't. The pity he had felt while looking into her defeated eyes on the first day. The dazing spell of her quiet writing. And now, this... What was it? Regret? As if he were sorry for having disappointed her. And hurt her.

_Impossible. I'm not feeling this..._

How ironic... _She_ had had faith in him. Thought that there was something _good _in him. Some kind of _mugglish_ redeemable quality.

_Ah! As if. There is nothing of the sort. I'm what I'm. Pure, proud, powerful. And definitely not in need of mudbloody praise. Deep down or else..._

He punched the wood frame again, his knuckles raw and bleeding. A foreign sting in his eyes.

This was pure madness. That filth could not make him feel guilty. Could not and would not make him... feel.

_This must stop. Now._

OoOoOoO

"Hermione! Oh, there you are! I need to tell you something! Quick, come down to the great hall!" Ginny's voice stirred her up from her slumber.

_It's supper time? How long have I been lying here?_

She quickly adjusted her hair and fixed her wrinkly clothes with her wand before rushing down the stairs.

She found Ginny and Neville talking in hushed tones at the Gryffindor table and sat besides them. She dared cast a glance towards the Slytherins and found Malfoy staring at her. She shivered and turned her attention to her house mates

"Ginny, what is it?" the red headed girl looked at Neville and nodded.

"Tell her, Nev."

"I was walking through the corridors before, just back from the Herbology class but I stopped when I heard voices. I dared a peek round the corner and recognized Antonin Dolohov but not the other one. Tall, blond, spiky hair. One of their lot for sure. Anyway it seems Harry and Ron were in London barely a week ago."

"In London?" Hermione's eyes widened in surprise.

"Yes, from what I heard, they were attacked in a bar or something. They managed to escape and Ron wiped the assailants' memories."

"So, why do we know this ever happened?" Hermione's logical mind kicked in.

"Well, we all know Ron... he is not that good at memory charms." Neville mumbled guiltily.

"Right... but at least they are safe!" she cried, relief washing over her.

"Yes, at least up until a week ago." replied Ginny. Her face had a different light. She looked healthier, less pale. This was the effect good news had on her.

"This is great!" Hermione smiled. All her bitterness about them leaving her behind seemed to sweeten out. She was so relieved to know that they were somewhere out there. Safe, sound and very much alive.

OoOoOoO

Draco found his eyes stuck to the Gryffindor table. Again. The mudblood was laughing. She seemed... happy. Light and radiant like a disgusting muggle commercial. Her expression had completely changed since their little... heart to heart.

_Isn't she meant to be bawling after what I told her?_

He was baffled and irritated by her inexplicable mood swings.

"Draco, heard the bad news?" Blaise Zabini drawl broke in his thoughts.

"What news?"

"Potter and Weasley are still alive. They got safely away from one of our attacks..."

_Oh, so that's why Granger's so pathetically happy..._

"Don't worry, we'll get them." he replied with confidence.

_Yes, we will. Won't we? And then I'll be the one smiling and laughing... yes?_

"Merlin, can't you two think of anything else?" asked Nott. He ran a hand through his raven black hair, his grey eyes resting on Granger and her friends.

"Come on, Theodore... Don't be a spoilsport. Wouldn't you be happy if Potter and his ginger sidekick were captured and the mudblood tortured to death? I'd offer myself for the job." Zabini winked.

Nott just shook his head, giving him a disgusted look and then turning to stare at the the bloody Gryffindor's table.

Draco scrutinized his face. He wondered if he had some kind of interest in Granger. Fascinating. Quite fascinating.

OoOoOoO

Hermione walked with her friends out of the great hall. She was tired and ready for a hopefully restful night. Deep down, though, she had the impression that a pair of grey eyes were following her...

**_Well, again, I hope you liked the chapter and please, please review. It's really important for me to know what you think of it :)_**


	5. Chapter 5

**_Hey there! Last few days have been really busy... I got into Pottermore and got sorted into Ravenclaw. I was hoping for Slytherin, but I actually found out Ravens are really great! __It's lots of fun :)_**

**_Anyway, never mind my stuff ;) Here is the new chapter!_**

Draco woke up with a start. He had a strange lingering feeling but couldn't really point it out. As if he had dreamt something scorchingly intense but had no memory of it and everything that was left now was just a hollow emptiness. He wondered what that dream had been about... but its contours kept on eluding him.

It must have been quite early, because the first light of dawn was filtering through the eerie greenish tinge of the Slytherin dungeon's high ceiling windows.

He tried to stay longer in bed but the constant nagging of his restless mind forced him up. A few moments later he was fully dressed in his pristine uniform and groomed.

When he walked into the common room, he spotted a few house mates huddled on the green leather sofas. Strange, they usually would wake up later... but he didn't care, in fact he didn't even bother to acknowledge their presence. He decided, instead, to go to the great hall. He wanted, no, he _needed_ to have some time alone and let his mind wander...

As he finally sat down, he put some food into his plate, just out of habit, not feeling like eating anyway.

_What is it with me this morning? I feel like doing nothing with my life!_

It was true. He wanted neither to see his house mates nor to eat. The only thing that was eating at him was the... curiosity. Slowly killing him and keeping him alive at the same time. He desperately needed to know where the mudblood was and what she was doing. His hungry gaze slowly lifted from his plate locking onto the Gryffindor table. She wasn't there though. Nowhere to be seen. This angered him. What angered him more was that _that _could anger him. Why did he need to see where she..._ it_ was? Who cared about a stupid little Mudblood!

OoOoOoO

Hermione found herself walking towards the castle, shrouded by the morning chilly mist. She had left Hagrid's hut behind her, heading to a small clearing overlooking the lake. She sat down on the cold, wet grass and watched the sun rise. So soothing. So numbing...

When she had woken up that morning, it was still dark. Lately sleeping didn't seem to be a number one priority on her 'to do list'. So she decided to take a walk. Thick shadow fingers were creeping their way all over the grounds increasing that ominous sense of danger that seemed to be blood and marrow of anything in existance these days. She kept her wits about her and went on like a true Gryffindor. Apparently nothing had happened.

Her gaze swept over the towering spires of the Castle, lingered on the surface of the lake now aflame with the promise a new day to land to her right, on the dark mass of the Forbidden Forest. Once again it reminded her of Harry and Ron. Their third year, when Buckbeak was first executed and then brought back to life in two different time lines. Strangely enough it even reminded her of... Malfoy. That year he had been badly injured, the cocky bastard had kept whining about his arm ad nauseam... She spotted the exact place where she had hit him too. The thought stirred a secret smile. It had felt good. Not to talk of his reaction... priceless.

Maybe it was really a _new_ day. A day full of promises.

OoOoOoO

Muggle studies. Again. Draco found himself wondering how many classes of this wretched subject were in his weekly schedule. Or maybe it was just his mind playing tricks on him. He didn't even know what day it was. The passage of time was blurring out...

He lazily looked around and sighed. His house mates were talking nonsense behind him and their annoying chattering was grating on his nerves. The seat next to him was empty. No one to talk to, which was not too bad thinking of it.

_One _absence glared in this idyllic picture. He hadn't seen _her _since the day before. Maybe she was sick...

_Why did I even notice that?_

Just then, the Carrow sister walked in. He felt like vomiting. Could a human being be more repulsive? She was a stocky, short, ugly excuse for a woman...

The door clicked once more. Draco turned to the sound to find the Granger girl standing at the entrance, her features freezed in a terrified expression. She must have realized she was late.

Alecto's eyes flashed in outrage. "How dare you, filthy little animal, to be so late and disrespectful!"

Draco saw Hermione shut her eyes tightly. He knew she was resigned to the worst.

Alecto slowly stalked her prey and... giggled. The monster actually _giggled_.

_How disturbing..._

"Do you really think that you may come and go as you please? Do you really think you can disregard your superiors? No! You shall be punished, you little abomination! I've been too lenient to let you even sit in MY class."

Draco could feel Alecto's anger building up together with Granger's fear. Her head was now completely bent and overall she looked so small. So... fragile

He pitied her once more, much to his annoyed regret.

"Draco!" he turned around abruptly. Carrow continued, "take that vermin out of my sight and teach her a lesson. One she won't be able to forget, if I might add," she leered wiggling her horrible bushy eyebrows.

Draco froze on the place. Flashes of the Astronomy Tower fiasco assaulting unbidden his senses.

"Draco! You have a duty towards our Dark Lord and should do well to remember it," Alecto screeched, bringing him back to the here and now.

He nodded and stood up, leaning for a moment to the desk to hide the shaking of his limbs.

"You can't do this!" Longbottom's voice rang in the classroom.

_What an idiot! Now I'll have to deal with him too..._

"It is against the rules to torture a student. You just can't! And let me ask you something, how much muggle do you think is in you, Carrow? In any of us, uh? We all share the same blood! And actually she is more of a person than you will ever be!"

Alecto glared at him and with a swish of her wand cast a non-verbal spell. Neville flew in the air and crashed against the wall. Out cold.

"No!" Granger cried desperately arms reaching to her friend.

Draco took her by the elbow and shook her like a rag doll ordering her to shut up.

Didn't she understand? It could only get worse...

OoOoOoO

Hermione heard unintelligible words come from Malfoy's mouth. She looked up to see him towering over her, the image distorted by tears.

She felt Malfoy's cold grip tugging at her arm and drag her away. The door closed with a loud creak and she leaned on it. Even more tears came flowing down her cheeks.

Neville was lying on the floor unconscious and it was HER fault. All her fault. And now the ferret was going to spend some quality time with her.

_What have I done? _

He kept on speaking to her but it was only a muffled, frenzied sound.

She could neither hear, nor see well. Everything looked like swallowed in a bottomless dream.

The dream slowly faded and all was black.

OoOoOoO

"Shit!" Draco caught her just in time before she could hit the stone floor. "Bloody hell, Granger!"

_Damn it!_

He couldn't babysit her, could he? Such a brave Gryffindor... Fainting at the slightest rough time.

_Damn the Mudblood!_

He sighed. The situation was already complicated, didn't need to get freaking impossible.

"Fuck you, Granger!" he whispered.

He slid down to the cold stone floor and rested his head against the wall, eyes closed. Hermione's head ended up cradled in his lap. But he did nothing to move her.

"What am I going to do now?" he muttered under his breath.

His eyes began suspiciously to sting. He didn't want to torture her. He just... couldn't. As much as he tried he was not that kind of person.

But again, he _was_ a Death Eater and things were... well, _expected_ from him. He had a duty towards his family. His parents' well being and survival were in his hands. If he didn't fuck up his task, all would be fine. Maybe... Probably. He'd give anything to see his mother smile again. Her beauty restored. Her once radiant complexion looked sallow these days and her eyes... so old, so haunted.

_Merlin!_

"Give me a fucking answer, Mudblood? What do I have to do?" He spoke angrily glaring at her peaceful blank face. As if she could actually answer him, given the circumstances. Oh, he'd have gladly accepted advice from her now. Not that he'd ever admit that..

OoOoOoO

Draco returned to his class. His demeanour dark and forbidding. Alecto smirked. She didn't even bother to ask how he had dealt with the mudblood. His face said it all. So she just continued lecturing the others.

Nott, instead had an unreadable expression. A mixture of anger, purpose and... sadness?

Malfoy rested his chin against the back of his hands. He could see Longbottom, who must have woken up, and all the other bloody Gryffindors staring at him enraged.

_Dimwit! They should kiss my feet and just be thankful..._

He tried not to remember what had happened. Didn't want to. He was starting to regret it all. Shame! Shame on him for having done -well, actually _not_ done - something like that. Such a betrayal of his family and beliefs.

But... the Granger girl had practically fainted in his arms. Did he have any choice? Torture her while she was out? Reinnervate and torture her? His heart might have been made of stone, but it was still a heart. Kind of. He simply didn't have the guts.

He had decided to take a risk which could have spared both an unpleasant situation. He had taken her in his arms and carried her to the Gryffindor tower. He hoped no one was around to sneak up on him. Thanks to his new status of resident Death Eater he had knowledge of most of the passwords and free access to any corner of the castle. It had been quite easy to get inside the empty Gryffindor common room.

He somehow hoped Granger had no recollections of what had happened. What if someone were to find this out? His end. His and his family's.

His stomach clenched at the thought. His heart fluttered in fear.

_Why didn't I just wait for her to wake up and torture her? Oh, Merlin! _

He run his nervous hands through his hair.

He felt his mind being torn apart. He needed to be loyal to the dark lord, but couldn't bear, just _couldn't_ to torture. She didn't deserve it...

_No, wait of course she does..._

He suddenly realized he had rested his fate in her hands. The thought was scary and bewildering at the same time.

_She mustn't tell anyone._

_**Ok, well I hope you liked it. It was definetely one of the hardest to write since I found it quite intense...please review!  
><strong>_

_**As for the next chapter, I have already written it but I'm not sure if it will be up next week. I'm going on holiday :)  
><strong>_


	6. Chapter 6

**_Hey there! Thanks to the people who reviewed again... you're lovely! :) Enjoy chapter 6!_**

Hermione opened her heavy, weary eyes.

What at the beginning was a blurred confusion slowly got more vivid. Colours, shapes, details.

Red, golden. Gryffindor common room. Unmistakably.

She felt a little dizzy and her head hurt. As if a troll had hit her. Well, she had a certain experience with troll close encounters... But, no. That was not definitely the case.

She concentrated hard and tried to determine how she had gotten here. But as much as she tried, she could only remember Alecto shouting at her and... Malfoy carrying her away. After that, all she could recall were vague feelings. Undefined sensations. Teasingly floating at the edge of her consciousness. A cold touch. Musk. Slow, deep breathing. A rhythmic thumping. No. She must have been dreaming. Certainly.

It just felt so real. So _impossibly_ real.

He must have tortured her or similar cheerful "deatheating" activities. She felt perfectly fine though. No pain. No signs of physical abuse. And anyway why couldn't she remember? Did he also mess with her mind? Did he obliviate her? But again... _why_?

She looked perplexed at the fire place, her thoughts as scorching and restless as the flame dancing in its bowels.

She suddenly felt very lonely and horrified at that treacherous part of herself longing for those long lost sensations...

_1 week later_

Hermione sat on her bed, tired and dejected. School had only begun and already she wanted it to end. It was just so different from the past years. Everything had changed and she couldn't even recognize the place that had been home of her dreams and adventures. The place that had been _home_. Period. She missed her two best friends. She missed Ron's cute, irritating 'clumsyself', Harry's laughter that never fully reached his old, wise green eyes. She missed the wonderful feeling of belonging.

They were far away and she didn't even know if she would survive long enough to meet them again.

Her situation was quite... precarious right now. No jokes. She was constantly watching her back, expecting the fatal blow any moment. That was no life. Life had been already taken from her before even being _taken_.

She had been wondering for the last days. Constantly debating with herself. What had happened with Malfoy? She still had no idea. She barely saw him and when she did he would stubbornly avoid her eyes. Which was normal somehow. She should be used to it by now. Why should the pureblood prince even glance at a lowlife like her? Unfortunately his quite mysterious act of discipline had aroused not only her curiosity. Her closest friends had harassed her with questions and all she could come up with was a vague "I wish not to talk about it."

In truth, she did not have certain answers. Only a loads of _slithering _doubts.

Should she confront him? What would she gain from such a showdown? He'd never tell her anything, right? And even _if_ he did was she ready to hear the truth?

"'Mione, what are you thinking about?" Ginny sat on her bed looking expectantly at her. Her concern interrupted Hermione's line of thought.

"Oh, nothing..." she replied, relieved to be dragged out of those muddy mental waters.

"C'mon, stop worrying for a while. We're in this all together and the boys are fine. I know it. I feel it. Soon it will all be over."

Two warm arms enveloped her tiny form. She returned her best friend's hug, managing to keep the tears at bay.

She admired Ginny for being so strong and steadfast She could only hope she was right.

OoOoOoO

Draco lay on the green, velvet covers of his bed. His mind was finally at rest.

For a week he had tried to avoid _her_ in every way possible. And the plan had worked. She hadn't bothered him and obviously told no one.

Maybe there was no need for him to worry anymore. She probably didn't even remember.

Nobody had seen him, right? If she... _it_ didn't remember and if nobody had witnessed his temporary lapse of resolve then it might as well never have happened.

He was slowly starting to relax. All seemed to be well.

OoOoOoO

_Hermione stumbled through darkness. She didn't know where she was. She was scared. She was freezing._

_Nothing was around her and yet everything. Sensory deprivation overload. The same way a deafening silence makes your ears madly buzz. _

_The only thing she was clearly aware of was an alluring musky perfume._

_She heard a voice calling her name from far away. She thought she recognized it but couldn't make out whom it belonged to._

_She heard the same voice again. And again. A tiny light source appeared ahead. She rushed to it, her breath coming in rapid bouts._

_The light got closer and she suddenly found herself surrounded by it. The blindest of embraces. It was too strong for her eyes used to pitch black darkness. She shut them tight, a sudden dizzy spell alerting her of a change of scenery. Gone was the dark void. In its place a soothing green caress. Life, sounds, shelter. She knew that place well. The forest of Dean. But how had she gotten there? _

"_'Mione!" The voice called again. _

_She turned around to meet the blue eyes of a red-headed boy._

"_Ron!" She run towards him. How she had missed him! She closed her eyes and threw herself in his welcoming arms. But what she felt was not what she expected. A cold, unyielding strength enveloped her slender waist. That musky perfume filled her nostrils again. Slow, deep breathing brushing her hair like a ghostly touch... _

Hermione woke up with a banshee scream. As soon as she realized it, she cupped her mouth with both hands. It was still very dark and the castle was immersed in an eerie silence.

She gasped. The dream... it had been so real.

She clasped her red blankets tightly. This situation was starting to freak her out. Those creepy feelings wouldn't give her rest. And worst: she didn't even know if they were real. Had she actually felt them, experienced them?

She was sure the annoying little ferret would never tell her anything. She wouldn't even bother asking.

She sighed and laid back down on her bed. Her eyelids shut heavily but she knew that she wouldn't fall asleep again. Her heart was in hyperdrive and she couldn't seem to calm down.

The crooked hands of the magical clock on the dorm's wall showed 5 in the morning. The sun would rise soon so it was really useless to linger in bed.

She quickly put on her uniform and walked silently out of the common room. She was putting her life at risk again... but did she really care?

The corridors were empty, a cold moisture weeping out of the walls. It was as if the castle actually missed Dumbledore's presence... and still mourned his loss.

She tried to relax, nobody was in sight but she couldn't bask too long in such a relieving thought for hissing voices erupted angrily. Her heart skipped a beat. She shouldn't have wandered so recklessly through the castle. She hid in the closest alcove, trying to make no sound.

The voices went on, their owners apparently unaware of her presence. She dared take a peek from behind the stone wall.

There, in the waning darkness, she made out a man, tall and dressed in black robes. His malignant snarl gave him away as Amycus Carrow. He was holding someone against the wall by his tie. A green and silver tie.

She stifled a gasp when she saw whom it belonged to. Malfoy. His pale features contorted in a terrified mask.

OoOoOoO

Draco tried not to recoil from Amycus' eyes. They were full of anger and a mad resolve. This time no trademark charm and silver tongue would save his pureblooded butt.

"Malfoy! Are you even listening to me?" He spat. His face a few inches from Draco's.

Draco averted his eyes and nodded slightly.

"Then answer, you little coward! I'll ask you once more. What's with you and the Gryffindor bitch?" his words crawled into Draco's ears like poisonous insects. Merlin! He was a pitiful, scared, trembling excuse for a man.

"N-nothing. She's a filthy little mudblood! She makes me sick," he managed to answer.

"Well, let me tell you something: I think you're lying. And you know why?"

He tightened his grasp on Draco's tie. He could hardly breath.

"I saw you the other day, you know? I followed you. All the way to your mudblood's safe harbour. And you didn't even notice. Idiot! Correct me if I'm wrong but you had precise orders to punish the mudblood. But no, you carried the little vermin back to her lovely common room. And Salazar only knows what you did inside all that time! You don't treat bugs with such a... _tenderness_!"

He spat on the last word.

"You squash them. You kill them. But what do we have here? A little rebel! Are you planning something with the other blood traitors? With Potter maybe? Tell me everything. Now."

_He knows what I did the other day! Merlin, I knew I should have never done it... What's wrong with me? Now he's going to tell Him! He's going to tell the Dark Lord! Bloody hell, I'm going to get me and my family killed! Oh, no, no... all for the freaky mudblood! What have I done?_

Draco broke down in tears, just like the little boy he was. This infuriated Amycus even more.

"Aww... crying now. Poor little baby... coward! Just like your father: a coward! You wouldn't even have the guts to betray, to be on Potter's side because you're just a snivelling wimp. How foolish of me to think you even could! Never had the backbone, did you? Failed to kill the old geezer too!" He smirked. "But I tell you this: either you choose a side, _ours _and learn to follow your orders or I'll teach you one or two things about Unforgivables. And I'll make sure to drill the lesson into your pretty little head!"

And with this, he let go of him and stalked away.

OoOoOoO

Hermione looked shocked at the scene unfolding in front of her very eyes.

_Correct me if I'm wrong but you had precise orders to punish the mudblood. But no, you carried the little vermin back to her lovely common room. And Salazar only knows what you did inside all that time! _

She retreated within the alcove, so that Draco wouldn't see her. He was still slouched against the wall, crying.

_You don't treat bugs with such a... tenderness!_

What had he done? Had he saved her from a brutal fate?

_... with such a ... tenderness!_

Tenderness? Why?

Tears formed in her eyes. She felt... She felt guilty. As if it was_ all_ her fault. She tried to contrast the feeling with the arguments of reason. Pitifully to no avail.

She had put him and his family in a dangerous situation. If not for her tardiness, Neville wouldn't have been hurt and neither would Draco now be in mortal danger.

She started regretting all the bad blood - oh, irony! - all the insults. Buried deep down there had to be still some good in him. In the end, why shouldn't he have tortured her to death? He could have. He should have. But he didn't.

She ignored the reasons for his sudden out of character act. Nevertheless she owed him. And felt the need to thank him. She peered from behind the wall, just to make sure he was still there. Indeed he was. His shoulder still shaking with sobs.

Hermione packed up her courage and wiped away her tears of sorrow and confusion. Taking a deep breath she revealed her presence.

OoOoOoO

Draco saw a figure slowly approaching him. His eyes widened when he recognized Hermione.

_You don't treat bugs with such a... tenderness! You squash them. You kill them._

What the heck was she doing there? Naturally he already knew the answer. She had probably overheard everything. Wonderful. As if the situation wasn't already bad enough. He looked away disgusted and scared at the same time. Maybe Amycus was still hiding there somewhere just waiting for this... For his chance to strike the final blow.

OoOoOoO

Hermione saw Draco turn away. He looked... disgusted? She tried to find the right words.

"I-I.."

No word seemed able to convey the power of her gratitude. Of her inner turmoil.

"Stay away from me! Keep your filth away from me! Stop fucking up with my mind... I hate you!" Those words hit her like a blast of fire in winter and kept echoing in her mind. They hurt. They sliced right through her heart. A thin film of sorrow veiled her eyes as Draco made to walk away.

But she couldn't let him go. She had to tell him she was grateful for what he had done. She had to! Even if he hated her, he had still sort of saved her, hadn't he?

"Draco!" She called pleadingly. No response. He kept walking. She followed him stubbornly.

"Draco Malfoy, you listen to me!" Hermione cringed, shocked at how bossy her words had sounded.

Surprisingly he did stop. He wouldn't turn to her though. His black figure standing still, a blurred silhouette against the blaze of the rising sun.

" I just... Thank you." She babbled.

That was when he finally turned to look at her. He quickly closed the distance between them while Hermione stood still, a statue carved out of doubt.

She smelled his unique scent again, now so close...

She didn't know what to do, nor how she wanted this to end. Their faces were now only a few inches apart. Her breath quickened. What was happening? Most of all, would she let it happen?

Much to her relief or regret she saw him pull slowly his sleeve up, revealing his dark mark. Hermione gasped. Harry had told her about it but... seeing it in all his infernal glory was another story.

She looked up at him with a puzzled and pleading look. His words froze blood and bones.

"Stay away from me, mudblood."

**_Heheh for a moment there I thought they were going to kiss... but then, no, it didn't sound right ;)_**

**_I hope you liked and please review! It's always appreciated ^^_**


	7. Chapter 7

**_First of all, sorry for this very very late update :-/ I'm really sorry but school started and I spend most of my time studying Latin and Ancient Greek (so tired...). But I promise I'll try to update as soon as I can :) _**

_**Enjoy chapter 7!**_

Lately the Carrows had a new sadistic obsession: order. They would make students walk in orderly fashion everywhere, from the dorms to the Great Hall, from the Hall to the classrooms, from the classrooms back to the dorms. Like little flesh soldiers. Leaded legs and hearts. Control freaks the twin devil spawns. Control and _pain_ freaks.

Luna Lovegood suspected the wrackspurts or even the nargles to be behind this new obsession. Hermione always smiled at the creative mental picture. She could almost imagine one of those elusive creatures creeping into the Carrows' thick skulls hunting for the lonely brain cell afloat.

And yet there was really nothing funny about the whole situation. She tried her best to be obedient and follow their orders hoping this would help to keep at bay their (mud)blood lust. She tried to meld into the background. To be_ invisible_. To give them no reason to vent their innate frustrations. But for a tiny little detail. Her _original sin. _Which she couldn't really do anything about. She was a mudblood and a mudblood she would stay for the rest of her miserable existence.

Malfoy's parting words echoed in her mind...

_Stay away from me, mudblood._

Flashes of the ominous mark on his left forearm haunted her wakeful hours. Her restless nights. They would never leave her alone. Poking, piercing, hurting. Bringing her painfully back to reality. This is what she was and he wouldn't let her forget it. He had saved her, spared her torture and humiliation. He had rekindled the dying flame of hope. And then had brutally quenched it. Leaving her lost in unknown territory. Her feelings towards him had irremediably shifted, in a manner she wasn't really ready to analyse but obviously _his_ feelings had remained unchanged. He hated her. The coward hated her.

He wasn't her number one priority though. Carrow's words had been clear that night. Sooner or later her _redde rationem* _would come. There was no way out. She knew it. She tried to bury this thought under a pile of fake confidence not to scare further her friends... yet, such a desperate knowledge weighed heavily on her heart.

Her last hope was paradoxically... Snape. He had power here in Hogwarts. He had _power. _Period. His invisible and yet tangible magical aura permeated the very walls of the ancient Castle. His unreadable soul motions teased her, challenged her and confused her at the same time. But it was clear that the low rank death eaters couldn't lift a finger without his permission.

Punishments were bestowed _leniently_. Neville had been injured a few times, yes, but fortunately with no lasting consequences. The Carrows would verbally assault her, insult and belittle her but they never dared anything more. They would let the resident bullies do it, but never dirtied their hands. Which was odd. Dark Lord's directives? Impossible. Illogical. Preposterous. Whose else? She couldn't be sure. But her bright, intuitive mind put her hot on the Snape's lead. She'd been at school for nearly three months now and had hardly seen him. He had never directly punished her or any of her friends for that. He had questioned Hermione once, without putting too much effort in it. He could have done much worse than being his usual snarky self. She found herself to question his true loyalties more than once. But in the end all her suppositions crashed against the rocky cliff of facts. He had killed Dumbledore. He was a murderer. A double agent of darkness. And yet... and yet she felt often in precarious balance on the edge of the pit of his inscrutable motivations.

OoOoOoO

Draco followed his Slytherin comrades down the steps of the grand staircase. He found himself deafened by the ominous rhythmic beat of their feet on the crude stone. Fuck the Carrows and their twisted perversions... what was all this order crap about?

Still he had to submit to them. He was as frantic as a drowning kitten. Amycus kept eyeing him with that nasty knowing smirk on his face. He hated it. Almost a month had gone by since their little early morning 'heart to heart' and he didn't seem to let go. He just knew sooner or later he'd use it against him...

But if there was _something_ he hated more than his actual predicament was the mudblood. If he hadn't passionately hated her before, well, now he _did_. Her very existence disturbed him. Her presence keeping him constantly on a nervous edge. It was her fault if he was now prisoner in a cage of fear ... only her fault.

He turned his head to the left and spotted her and her jolly Gryffindor party heading down to the courtyard. She looked very absorbed by whatever she was mulling over.

_Maybe she's planning on how to get me killed this time..._

As soon as she returned his stare he averted his eyes. A red hot flush creeping its way through his face. Why did she always catch him when he was looking at her? Bloody muggle sixth sense! And above all why did _he_ always feel the urge to stare in her direction? He hated his wandering eyes, he hated his trembling resolve, he hated all the confusing shit this war was throwing at the fan and mostly he hated her bushy haired breathing, living reminder of his weakness. Didn't he?

OoOoOoO

Hermione sat down for breakfast munching pensively on her cereals and scanning the Hall. Snape was sitting in the Headmaster's high back seat, his food untouched. The other teachers were scattered on the far ends of the table and he was, as usual, alone. His face was absolutely blank. His eyes deceived him though. Pitch black tunnels lit by random sparks of... what? Anger? Desperation? Hermione couldn't help but identify in that sudden, short-lived crack through his mighty emotional walls, an endless sadness. He was staring right at her table where sat a colourful mix of Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws. Lately people belonging to the former DA tended to stick together. It was the only way to feel less... vulnerable. Unity made them stronger. Seamus and Neville were laughing at some inside joke, Luna and Cho were discussing animatedly about Rowena's legacy and Ginny was... eating. Merlin bless the Weasleys!

Her wistful mood was broken by a familiar hooting. It was Monday and the owls were deftly gliding over their heads for their weekly visit. They dropped on the tables letters, boxes and a few copies of the last edition of the The Daily Prophet. Owls were still allowed in Hogwarts. For now...

Lots of people gasped upon receiving the newspaper. She wondered why and turned curiously around to see what was causing all the fuss. The answer came right from above. A tawny owl dropped a copy also for her. She couldn't believe her eyes. She had to blink twice before reading again.

There was a half page picture apparently taken at the ministry. In the foreground Harry and Ron, in formal, oversized clothes, running for life.

The headline read: _Undesirable n°1 Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley infiltrate the ministry!_

Her eyes travelled down to read the rest of the article. What if they had been captured... tortured... killed! But no... they had safely escaped!

"Oh, merlin! Ginny did you see?" Her friend didn't say anything but let her warm hug speak for her feelings.

Hermione couldn't help but smile. Harry and Ron were alive! Safe, sound and... on the craziest run.

She closed her eyes in relief and when she opened them again she caught Malfoy on the other side of the hall. Staring. Again. She wondered why he kept doing that. What was it he wanted from her. His grey eyes sent a shot of pure ice down her spine.

She shook her head. It wasn't time to obsess over _snaky_ matters. It was time to cheer up. She looked away from his steel grasp, pretending never to have noticed.

There were whispers... half spoken words... "Harry is safe." "Harry is still with us!" " Potter made it!"

The great hall was crossed by an undercurrent of joyous excitement. It finally seemed a little less desolate, a little less dark.

"Hermione, what do you think they were doing at the Ministry?" Ginny's question shook her out of her reverie

"Umm, I don't know. Probably looking for something. I really have no idea..." she lied. Obviously there could be only one reason to risk their neck in the enemy's lair: Horcrux hunt. And she had the irrational feeling that they had been successful. She believed in them.

"Whatever it was, I get great vibes from this stunt of theirs..." said Ginny absent-mindedly, giving voice to Hermione's thoughts.

Hermione gently traced Ron's face on the Prophet. She missed him... She missed him so much. But she couldn't keep emptiness at bay. Something had shifted. Imperceptibly. Irremediably. Raging flames had given way to warm, quiet embers. Months of distance. The constant gnawing of fear. The faint, painful echo of his, of their abandonment...

Her eyes met Draco's for a brief moment. A little tongue of fire sparkled to life under the ash...

OoOoOoO

Draco looked at her. Happiness blazed like a wildfire in her eyes. Not that this could change their impossibly warm nondescript ordinariness... Anyway he almost envied her. Things could turn out well for her after all. He, for his part, was completely fucked up. Her fault, obviously. Why did she have to be always in the way? Awakening his atrophied conscience - conscience? - with her impossibly warm nondescript...

He sighed. If The Boy Who Didn't Want To Die kept on not wanting to die and eventually won, Granger would be safe and he'd be dead or as good as dead in Azkaban. If Voldemort won, Granger would probably be dead and he with her. The Dark Lord would surely dispose of his sorry hide once his use expired. He wasn't worthy enough to be in his ranks. The way he saw things, he'd end fucked up either ways. _Royally_ fucked up. Always the best for Malfoys.

Miserable. He felt so miserable. His life didn't really mean anything anymore. No motivations. No... Salazar forbid, no beliefs. Loads of confusion. The only thing that kept him going was the curiosity towards the mudblood's affairs. It sounded perverse... It _was _perverse. What the hell was going on with him? While at war against his own mind, his eyes travelled to her again. A magnet. She was talking with the fierce Weaslette. He smirked. Blaise had always had a thing for the red-headed spitfire. Twisted sod.

He pricked up his ears... the word _Potter _was definitely in the air. And its ever-present complement: _Weasley_. The Weasel... A worse pain in the butt than Scarhead. There was something about that blubbering idiot that irked him to no end. He saw Hermione tracing absent mindedly his picture on the newspaper. How romantic! The Gryffindor princess and the pauper. His grip on his fork tightened. He felt... well, _odd_. What was that burning sting in his chest? For the briefest second his hungry angry eyes searched hers. She was smiling. The little conniving tease was smiling. He immediately looked away shocked by the intensity of his reaction. His impossible thoughts... Was he_ jealous_ of that red-haired, freckled idiot? The Malfoy heir could have had any woman he wanted. _Any_. But one. The forbidden fruit. The flavoured, juicy fruit Weasley could sink his teeth into. His mouth went sour. In that moment, he reluctantly admitted, he'd gladly swap places with Weasley. Hermione Granger was a strange creature. A beautiful creature. No, not really. Pretty maybe. Acceptable. No, fuck it, she was an ugly bint.

_Whoa Draco! Get a grip. It's a disgusting mudblood we are talking about. Who cares? The cretin can have her all he wants... _

He tried to gain back some composure reining in his emotions.

_Sanctimonia vincet semper, sanctimonia vincet semper, sanctimonia vincet semper**... _he recited like a mantra. To distract himself. Or to deceive.

OoOoOoO

Hermione cast a glance towards the teachers' table. Snape calmly got out of his seat as he did every night before leaving the Hall and retiring early to his office. Instead he made for their table.

"Ginny, Nev... I think Snape's coming here," she whispered. They both turned in his direction.

His oddly impressive figure already looming over them.

Hermione looked down at her plate. She wouldn't dare to look at him.

"Five points from Gryffindor!" he said smoothly. His voice like dry ice. Smoking cold.

Next to her, Hermione felt Ginny stand up abruptly.

"Professor, this is not acceptable! We haven't done anything!" She spat angrily.

"Another five points for your _unacceptable _arrogance, miss Weasley." His pause stretching the very texture of space-time. "As you well know, silence is compulsory while dining. And you were _not _being silent. You were cheering as if a quidditch match was going on. Cheering for Potter, if I might add, which makes it all the more... improper."

Ginny's anger splayed its red fingers across her cheeks. Hermione, worried for her friend's safety, tugged at her arm and pulled her gently back down. Snape smirked triumphantly.

"Maybe Miss Granger here has more common sense than you do, Miss Weasley."

The red-head made to reply but he stormed away before she could.

"Fuck you, Severus Snape!" Seethed Ginny under her breath. Hermione shot her friend a reproachful look. Better keep an eye on her unpredictable temper flares...

The feather-like feeling of being watched turned her attention to the Slytherin table. A set of grey eyes was fixed on her. Surprisingly she didn't detect contempt in them. Nor malice. More... a polite interest. Intrigue. Thodore Nott was not your everyday Snake. Hermione's year, solitary, exceptionally clever. She had always suspected that he came from a different forge in spite of his death eaters legacy. But she was known to see good in people even where there wasn't any...

_**For those of you wondering what the Latin words meant:  
><strong>_

_*** 'Reckoning'**_

_**** 'Purity always conquers', Malfoy family's motto**_

_**Please review!  
><strong>_


	8. Chapter 8

_**Hey guys! Sorry for not updating for ages but I had sooo many things to do! I finished this chapter weeks ago but never seemed to find the time to have a proper look at it :( The good news is that I have partly written a few of the next ones so they should be up sooner :D**_

_**Please read and review!**_

Draco, Blaise and Theodore entered the potion class.

Fat, blackened cauldrons stood on every desk, ingredients of varied and dubious nature scattered around. Slughorn was already inside, his oh-so-affable trademark smile plastered on his face. The man and his general demeanour seemed not affected by Real Life extra curricular activities... maybe it was because of his _high_... _spirit_... ed mood. Maybe it was plain cunning survival instinct.

The three of them sat on the wooden stools silently, hoping their tardiness would go unnoticed. It did and the lesson began.

"Today you are going to work in pairs. Your task is to brew a Draught of Peace. Quite tricky to brew, this potion relieves anxiety and agitation. Should you get it wrong though, it might cause a deep and in rare cases... _irreversible _sleep. I therefore advise you to be very, very careful. You will be the ones to test your work. And your marks will depend on the evaluation of the effects the potion will have on the drinker. As for the pairings... let's be a bit creative, shall we? I'd say... ah! Zabini and Brown, Nott with Longbottom..."

Draco frowned. What bloody pairings were these? What was the old drunken goat up to?

"... Parkinson and Chang, Mulciber and Corner, Malfoy and... there, Granger!"

Draco's head whipped towards her, his sneer at full mode. Why did he have to work with her? Why on earth did it have to be _her_?

"Well come on, chop-chop! You only have one hour." His smile about to induce a hyperglycemic schock.

Draco watched her slowly get up from her stool and walk over. Their eyes never met, not even when she reached his desk. She was fiercely focused on the geography of her own toes and he had the nagging feeling she was blushing. When she did look up, her cheeks were indeed slightly flushed.

Blaise had already joined the Lavender cow so the desk was free and she sat down next to him.

"Well, it seems we will have to... co-operate..." she said nervously, her dark honey eyes looking expectantly at him.

OoOoOoO

Hermione watched him roll his eyes quite theatrically. How. Very. Malfoy.

She tried to concentrate on the task at hand and opened her _Advanced potion making, _checking if all the ingredients were on the desk. "Syrup of Hellebore, Valerian Root, powdered Unicorn Horn, Moons-" she recited.

"Shut the trap, Granger! The ingredients are all here!" he rudely cut short.

She fumed but kept her temper under tight wraps.

"Do you want to read the instructions or brew?" she neutrally asked.

"No freaking difference, mudblood." he dropped another of his lovely remarks, sounding royally annoyed.

"Do you honestly think I still care when you call me that? Do you really still believe in your pure-blooded empty nonsense? When will you stop blowing hot air and admit what you already know deep down?" She jabbed her index finger into his chest. This time she couldn't stop her emotional flood. She realised she sounded a bit desperate.

"Granger, did I give you permission to ask inane, low-life questions?" He shot back not fully registering her finger poking into his chest. Or too shocked to do it.

"Then enlighten me, Malfoy... why did you do what you _did_... the other day I mean?" she mumbled the last words, hastily removing her finger as if burnt.

_Merlin, why can't I keep my … trap shut?_

"Do _what _exactly?" he asked nervously, his eyes thin blades of steel hatred.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about... don't pretend you don't."

"You don't know anything, _mudblood. _Do you understand? Not a fucking thing."

"Right, right..." she lowered her eyes. Tired. Defeated.

OoOoOoO

Perfect. She was miserable. Exactly what he wanted her to be.

"Granger, go back to your brewing..."

She sadly shook her head and went back to work.

OoOoOoO

"Since you're not in the mood of answering any of my questions, would you at least read me the instructions?"

He leaned over and gently brushed her ear with a breathy, cocky: "Granger, I'm not your slave..."

_Why is he always doing that ear thing? He should stop! _

An unfathomable part of her privately scoffed at her outrage. It kind of fed off that quivering, delicious torment. Maybe... maybe she even enjoyed it. No, wait! Of course she didn't! This was madness. EOD, Emotional Oxygen Deprivation. She was definitely drowning in confusion.

"Malfoy, really! I don't think a few instruction lines will deprive you of your birth rights. Believe me, it's NOT such a big deal, unless, of course, you can't read..." She smirked triumphantly.

_Go to hell, Granger!_ In spite of her skepticism she could almost _divine_ his thoughts as they came out like a strangled, peeved: "Fine!"

The minutes ticked by in a tensed but quiet truce. No more words – _insults_ – were exchanged and the scion of the House Malfoy was graceful enough to lower himself and read the instructions while Hermione mixed diligently the ingredients.

In the meantime a few not-so-volunteer testers dropped unconscious on the floor after trying out the draught. Slughorn would giggle lightly and send them to the loving care of Madam Pomfrey.

Hermione and Draco's final result was a bubbling bright blue concoction emitting a light silver vapour. She poured a small quantity in a vial.

"Piece of cake. Aren't you gorgeous little one?" She beamed while scrutinizing the little flask with intent eyes.

"Granger forget it. I'm NOT testing it. I don't trust your brewing..."

She rolled her eyes exhaling loudly.

_Sanctimonious git!_

"Oh, how very _gentlemanly_ of you. Well, I hope it works because I've got loads of things to do. After lunch I have ancient runes, which I happen to love and... Merlin! I have to go to the library too and-"

"Fine, Granger, I'll take it. Just cut your whiny insufferable know-it-all-ness. Just remember: if something _unpredictable _happens, I'll kill you. If the blue shit causes a thing as simple as a stomach ache, I'll kill you. If only I get sleepy or drowsy, I'll kill you. And should my beauty sleep get a bit too... permanent I'll come back to haunt you and then, well, I'll kill you." _*****_

He grabbed the flask and gulped down the content.

Hermione looked at him warily. What if something had gone wrong? What if the moonstone or the unicorn horn had not been properly crushed? Maybe _she_ should have tested it...

His expression was blank, his face definitely pale. Difficult to say if more than usual though.

"How do you feel...?" She tentatively asked.

"Normal," was all the answer she got. But he didn't look _normal. _Not at freaking all.

"Are you sure? Because you look a little... frozen." Her hand moved on its own accord and it slowly reached his face spooning into the curve of his cheek. Just checking the temperature, she assured her bewildered self. She gasped when skin touched skin. He felt cold to her warm touch. So very cold...

OoOoOoO

He looked into her impossibly expressive eyes as her tiny hand carefully reached for his cheek. If touch had a colour hers would be the one of embers. Softly warm. Softly glowing. He didn't know what she was doing but he didn't want her to stop. It felt almost soothing, almost...

_Wait... am I recycling this mental crap? What the hell am I doing? What the hell is SHE doing?_

He shook her hand off roughly.

"Granger, what of the meaning of the word _normal_ doesn't register in your bushy skull? Keep your filthy hands off me!"

And with that, he stormed out of class.

OoOoOoO

_Normal indeed, _she thought angrily. But anger quickly dissolved into that primordial soup that lately had been her emotional scape.

She just lingered in her 'not here, not now', sitting still on her stool. She felt like she lacked air to breathe. _Again_. It wasn't the first time they had touched but this time... oh, this time the world had spun off its axis. The brief contact had set tiny bioelectrical shocks down her spine. Well, not so tiny in all honesty. Irrationally she knew he had felt it too. A connection of sorts. Like the indescribable claim a wand stakes on its master... if only the _master_ wouldn't behave like a moron and fight the fateful claim.

She sighed and gulped down a dose of Draught. She bloody needed it.

OoOoOoO

Draco walked down the forth floor corridor. He had a free period and was fully enjoying the potion before its effects would subside.

He hadn't felt so calm in ages. The anxiety had vanished, the agitation gone. No pressure, no fear... was there something to be worried about anyway?

He felt finally like his true self. He could do anything, _be_ anything without giving a damn about Amycus, the Dark Lord, his family.

The mudblood had brewed a top-class potion. Definitely. It was doing its job perfectly.

_The mudblood... _she danced her way into his thoughts with stubborn grace. The potion's fault, no doubt. He replayed their last interaction in a daze: the sweet torture of her hand on his cheek, the concern on her face and... Merlin, those eyes! They had that golden quality to them that spoke of innocence, pureness, safety. That spoke of … hearth. The shock of this revelation was nothing, _nothing_ if compared to the fiendfyre her touch had unleashed through his veins. He had never felt anything like this. Never.

A thought broke unbidden through his reverie. If she had been of different ancestry, if there wasn't a war burning down the very pillars of earth... then maybe, just maybe, he'd let himself feel something for her. But not now, not ever, not with her blood status.

The thought faded like a mirage in the desert. The closest, the less solid.

He felt the familiar sensation of his heart notching up its beats, of fear. Fierce. All encompassing fear.

_Salazar, no! No..._

The potion slowly abandoned his blood leaving in its cold trail unyielding shame. Shame of having even thought about the annoying chit in such a way. And shame gave way to anger.

Deep down though he knew he wasn't angry for having indulged such a pathetic weakness. He was angry because he wished it to be possible. He wished it to be real.

He concealed the shameful realization behind his spiteful _façade_, just like he hid his every features behind his Death Eater mask.

OoOoOoO

Hermione entered the great hall for dinner. She blinked trying to adjust to the poor illumination. There used to be so many candles magically floating under the ceiling and now... all was dark, all was gloomy.

Her eyes spotted Malfoy at the Slytherins table. Apparently he was fine. The potion had had no side effects and she tried to convince herself that that was all she had to care about.

_Ronald, Ron, Ron..._

The name of her friend resonated in her mind like a tired, off-tune mantra.

At the Gryffindors table Ginny was engrossed in an animated discussion with Neville.

"... I'm still pissed at Snape for what he did this morning. Unbelievable!"

Her gaze shifted to the approaching brunette.

"Hey," the read-head greeted.

"Hi Gin, hi Nev! Trouble in paradise?" Hermione half-heartedly joked.

She sat down and started filling her plate. Even the food was scarce consisting of only some miserable soup and a few sad looking vegetables.

While picking an apple, she noticed Nott's relentless stare and the fruit slipped from her hand.

_Damn! Why must the Slytherins be all so creepy?_

She cursed under her breath and to her dismay watched Zabini pick up the fruit and bite lasciviously into its crispy flesh. His eyes boring unforgiving into her redheaded friend.

Nott, oblivious of his house mate little shenanigans, kept staring at Hermione as if trying to convey some indecipherable message.

"Hermione, what's the matter?" Asked Neville.

"Nothing... it's just... why is Theodore Nott always staring at me? I hate it when people stare." Her last statement was - probably - meant for Malfoy too. She hoped he could hear her.

"Maybe he likes you... wonder what Ronald would think about this!" said a grinning Ginny.

"Oh, come on. Of course not! Don't be silly. He's a pureblooded bigot. He would never sully himself with the likes of me" Again her words were _to the kind attention of Mr. Ferret _too.

"Well, he isn't that bad." Neville interjected somehow shyly.

"What do you mean?" Hermione inquired.

"He may be a Slytherin but... also Slughorn is a Slytherin, right?" The two girls nodded in sync, determined to see where this was going.

"We were paired up in potion today and... he was quite decent and collaborative."

"Mmh, I never saw him join the snake gang in bullying or stuff. I don't think I ever heard the wretched M word come out of his mouth either." Ginny pensively added.

"Maybe, he is different then..."

With a pang in her chest Hermione wished she could say the same for Draco.

_*** I drew inspiration from a movie (Lock, stock and two smoking barrels, 1998) for this sentence :)**_

_**Sorry again for the very late update... hope you enjoy anyway! Please review!**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**Hello everyone! First of all I owe you an apology... I am so sorry for not having updated this story for something like 8 months. I feel terrible, but this year I've been so busy with school etc. that I almost never wrote ! I had written back in December a few chapters but never published them. From time to time I'd just scroll through my documents and see "Left Behind" and I knew I wanted to write more but there was really never the time! But anyway here's chapter 9! Thanks to all those who read the story (and I hope) will continue reading it :)**_

From the moment Draco had stepped inside his defence against dark arts class, he knew something would happen.

Maybe it was because the room was darker, or maybe there had been a strange shift in the air... probably it was only Carrow's face. Was it more... menacing?

_You're just being paranoid _he told himself.

But then, he had started talking about dark magic, unforgivables... he knew just how right the omens his mind had created were.

Amycus was standing right in front of him, speaking. His harsh voice never seemed to falter or break.

"Now you all know about jinxes and hexes..." he stopped to smirk. "But I'm sure that after such a clear explanation, you can also understand how jinxes are quite innocent and harmless too. Hexes are darker, more powerful as we have already said. They ultimately lead to curses and... unforgivables." he smiled a dangerous smile. "And... this is what we will be practicing today and during some of our next lessons. I'm sure we will have great fun together!" he giggled annoyingly like his sister.

"Now... anyone wishes to volunteer? Maybe... Malfoy?" he turned his attention towards him, sneering.

_Oh, no, no, bloody hell! Is he going to curse me in front of the whole class? Kill me?_

He felt frozen, his blood stopped flowing through his veins and his heart skipped a beat.

"And the mudblood... Granger isn't it? Oblige us with this little show. You will be our victim here."

Draco nearly jumped from his seat. This was worse than what he had imagined. It was the first step of Amycus' long vengeance. He wanted him to prove his loyalty to the dark lord, by what? Torturing her? In front of everyone, the whole class.

This was a bloody mess!

And yet, it would have only been a matter of one word, one spell and his every problem would have disappeared. Something he should have already done a long time ago. But her... could he...?

OoOoOoO

Hermione widened her eyes. Had it just been her name being called?

Her heart skipped a beat from the fear.

When Amycus started talking jinxes, hexes, curses she had feared something would happen, but she had hoped it wouldn't.

How cruel could the world be? This world, the magical one she had grown up in...

She knew this was meant for Draco to prove himself. It was quite obvious Amycus wanted him to show everyone that there was nothing between them. But how stupid could he be? Of course there was nothing, how could there ever be? They were... well, different. He had made it clear he hated her...

"Mudblood!" his voice rang through the classroom again. She had to go. She couldn't refuse. Nor could she run like a coward. She shyly looked up to his evil face but was interrupted by Neville speaking with her.

"Hermione, don't go... we'll sort out something, we will protect you." he pleaded her desperately. Dear, sweet Neville.

"I have to, there is no other way. And I don't want you to end up unconscious, on the floor like last time." she squeezed his hand and slowly stood up.

"But..."

She ignored him. Time to face fate herself.

Her body was shaking violently. If there was something she had never experienced, it was an unforgivable curse.

Harry, Ron and the others had always taken care of her as she had for them. No one had ever got that harmed. But fate had reserved something else for her, because now it was her turn.

"Quickly, mudblood. Draco doesn't like waiting and neither do we." He underlined his name, smirking once more. She quickened her pace and stopped in front of Draco.

She dared not look at him and instead stared at a spot on the floor. There was a moment of silence, a pause in time before he utterly spoke up the words she dreaded the most.

"So, Draco... will you perform for us a cruciatus curse?"

OoOoOoO

There! The cruciatus curse, how obvious. He should have imagined it...

He looked towards her, unconsciously searching for an answer in her eyes. But he couldn't see them. She was staring curiously at the pavement.

" Draco..." Amycus, insisted.

_If you're so passionate baout it, then why don't you bloody do it, you bastard? _He asked Amycus.

_No, what are you saying? It must be you! Come on Draco... do it. She's a mudblood, just a mudblood. _But these words were only a pale echo in his mind...

He raised his wand. Her eyes finally moved and followed his slow and shaking movements. They were filled with fear and Draco thought they were slightly darker.

_If she is just a mudblood, then why can't I do it?_

The more he looked, the less he was convinced about this. Could he really hurt her? She seemed so scared of him, as if he were a monster.

_If I do this I'm a monster..._

Her words came echoing back in his mind:_ Do you honestly think I still care when you call me that? Do you really still believe in your pure-blooded empty nonsense? When will you stop blowing hot air and admit what you already know deep down? _He thought of her innocent question. Turned out the answer was just: I think I've known for a long time...

_This is not the time to be sentimental. Remember what she is! Her blood is as filthy as any mudblood's and she's scarhead's best friend. YOUR enemy. Torture her and put an end to your problems!_

He turned towards Amycus who was boiling with anger, before setting his eyes on her again.

OoOoOoO

Hermione stood there, petrified. She couldn't move. She just waited for that red light to hit her through the chest.

In a way, she felt ready for the pain. She just wished he'd get on with it. Draco would prove he was evil to the core to Amycus and would prove to her, that she would always only be _the mublood_. This thought somewhat hurt her, it was after all the truth and she had always known but...

Her eyes followed the line of his body and stopped on his eyes. Such an unnatural colour and so... torbulent. She could see his heart drumming behind them.

"Draco..." she heard Amycus speak once more, this time with a more urgent tone.

Hoping he could somehow hear her she thought: _Just do it, do it!_

A desperate cry no one would hear.

OoOoOoO

Her eyes seemed nearly pleading now, as if she wanted this. His wand was still pointed at her, but in that moment he nearly felt like a muggle. Magic just wouldn't come naturally now.

_Stupid Gryffindor pride. She wants to save me from him. But she doesn't understand. I can't do this._

She was... too innocent and pure to deserve any of this.

_Oh, merlin! What has she done with my head?_

"That's it!" Amycus brought him back to reality screaming. His voice sounded nervous and irritated.

_Fuck, this is my end. This time, I really did it._

OoOoOoO

Hermione watched shocked as Amycus violently took Draco's wrist and started carrying him away.

In the inside she wanted to scream, but the only sound that came out was a muffled sob.

Should she do something? How could she just stand there?

_Your wand, Hermione, your wand!_

OoOoOoO

Draco felt Amycus' strong hold on his wrist. His heart was beating so fast he thought it would stop from one moment to the next.

Instinctevely, he turned around just to catch a glimpse of her eyes, but she was meddling with her robes, looking for something...

_What is she doing?_

As the wooden doors were closing, he saw her reaching out for her wand.

With a loud crash, she disappeared. She was gone.

"You little coward! I told you I'd teach you a lesson... and the mudblood's next!"

_Next...? _So, whatever attempt he had made not to hurt her, he had failed anyway.

"Crucio!"

He screamed, almost pathetically. He had lost, once more.

His brain was exploding.

He remembered when he was five, only a child. He was playing with a candle, back at the manor and had accidently burnt his finger. It felt like that, only ten times the pain and over his whole body.

He didn't think he could resist any longer. It was only a matter of time before he'd give up to darkness.

What tortured him even more, was the fact that everything he was feeling, she would feel sooner or later. It was then, that he understood, he would have never hurt her like this.

What she had done to his mind, he didn't know, and he probably never would.

He surrendered to pain.

Death was easy.

OoOoOoO

Screams.

_**Hope you liked :) Please review and tell me what you thought!**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**Hey all! Thanks for all the hits and reviews! :) I hope you like this new chapter!**_

Mid-December came, bringing a freezing wind and soft, white snow.

The castle, which would normally be warm, full of christmas decorations, was instead now colder than ever.

A girl entered the hospital wing taking with her a few school books. She was covered by wool jumpers, a black coat, and a red and golden scarf and yet she still shivered under her garments. There, she was greeted by a sudden pleasant warmth. A charm, most probably.

"Ah, miss Granger." a pleasant voice met her. "I take it you're here for Mr Malfoy again."

"Yes, madame Pomfrey." she answered shyly.

"Well, follow me."

Hermione obeyed.

"How is he doing?" she asked, impatient to have an answer.

"Quite well, now. But he may need a few days rest. He is still recovering."

When they finally reached his bed, Hermione took a look at him, before sitting down in a chair right next to him.

"He looks so pale..."

"As I have already said, he is still recovering. One doesn't suddenly stand up, jump and play quidditch after being cursed. Especially from this... curse."

_Cruciatus. The torture curse._

"Some people even die from it. So, I can only say we are lucky Mr Malfoy here is strong and that fowl death eater isn't enough, instead. A horrific thing to do to a boy if you ask me, but it could have been worse, you know."

"Yes, yes. I'm just very worried. That's all."

"He will be up and going in a few days. It's you, I would be worried about Miss Granger. You've spent the last 2 days here, eating, studying... as I recall, you weren't particularly close in the past years. Now you won't leave him. " her face was rather worried.

"Well, we weren't, we aren't. It's just..."

"Your business is your own, miss Granger. I do not need explanations, but I hardly think you ever slept. Am I right?"

Hermione smiled.

"You should do well to. Or else I'll have to force you to! I will be going to my office now. There are few things I have to do. Goodbye, Miss Granger. I'm sure I'll see you later here."

"Goodbye, Madame Pomfrey. And... thank you..."

"Dear girl, how many times will you thank me? This is my job!" she winked.

And with that, she walked away.

Hermione was left there alone, with her thoughts as her only companion.

She put her books on a bedside table and looked at him. For the 100th time in these 2 days.

He seemed at peace, at least right now. So rare. She hardly remembered the last time he had such a calm expression on his face.

He had gone through a lot recently. That was sure. First he became a death eater, then he failed his mission and then... he failed to torture her twice. That, she couldn't understand. He insisted on saying he hated her, but then seemed to do everything in his power to protect her.

She squeezed her eyes shut, trying not to remember.

When she heard his screams, coming from outside the class, she didn't know what to do. She was going mad. Her head was filled with them. She couldn't think, couldn't hear, nor see. Hot tears, started sliding down her cheeks.

The next thing she knew, Neville was right beside her. He muttered a few things, but she wouldn't listen. He never left...

Everyone in the classroom was speaking, shouting. The Slytherins must have been wondering what their friend had just done.

Then a deep, velvety voice broke all the chaos.

Snape.

It came from behind the thick, wooden doors.

Hermione struggled to let go from Neville's hold to follow other students outside.

There, she found Snape trying hardly to hide his fury and yet somehow calmly speaking to Carrow, about how they would _talk_ in his office later, how he shouldn't lay a finger on Draco because he was his godson.

She never knew. Now she understood why he was so protective of him.

Hermione's eyes then flew to a body on the floor. Draco.

She covered her mouth to muffle a scream.

He looked dead.

She kept thinking about what he had done for her once more, what he risked.

Neville then covered her in a protective embrace.

Hermione trembled on her chair in the hospital wing at the thought of what had happened. It was terrible.

A few hours later after it happened, it was common knowledge that Draco had been tortured and the reason why. The people were talking... but she didn't care. Even her friends had wondered about what he had done or rather, hadn't done.

She hadn't seen Carrow around since then. She hoped he was taught a lesson and that, nothing, nothing like that would ever happen again.

But she was sure it would. After all, Snape had clearly told her he was protecting Draco, not her, not anyone else.

Yes, she had even paid him a visit. When she recovered from her shock, she had decided to speak with him. Terrible idea. Mad. But he was the only person who could provide her and others protection. The only person in the school who had authority, she would dare trust. Why? She didn't even know. But she had nothing to lose, so she took her chances.

"_Miss Granger, what are you doing here at this hour?"_

"_Professor... I-I don't know why I'm here. I'm sorry. But... professor what happened today... it cannot, must not happen again. It should not be permitted. D-Malfoy..."_

"_Miss Granger if you have come here only to whine, then you can as well leave. I have work that needs to be dealt with. If not, you will listen to me. As you and your Potter-friends already know, I have spoken with Carrow. He shall be away for a few days, I can assure you. To torture another death eater, who may be one of the dark lord's future favourites, is foolish. And Draco is after all, a death eater. I warned him and I'm sure he will not touch him again. It is not your concern anyway. As for you others, as long as you protect Potter, I cannot..." his voice trembled for the shortest of seconds. "... and will not provide protection for you. That should be quite clear to a witch as bright as you. If what they say is true and you truly are... bright." he added with a slight smirk on his face. "Finally, I advise you to stay away from him. If you care about his fate and are worried for yourself and your... friends."_

"_Care?" she asked inquisitively._

"_You may leave, Miss Granger."_

What a charming conversation that one had been.

Snape had put into words months of her thoughts, confusions. He just... knew something even she could not confirm. Was she starting to feel something for _him_?

But it didn't matter, because she had to stay away from him. She would, she promised herself, after he woke up.

Just then she heard him mumble something in his sleep. She was sure he wasn't conscious yet, was he?

As she didn't want to be there when he woke up, she gathered her things and made to leave.

But a cold hand grasped hers. She jumped from the surprise. Her head slowly turned around. His eyes were closed as if he were sleeping but his hand was still tightly wrapped around hers.

She instictevely squeezed it and sat back down.

If he had woken up in that moment, he'd have seen the slightest flush on her cheeks and timid smile on her lips.

_What's happening to me?_

Seconds, minutes, maybe hours passed. She never left and his grip on her small hand never abbandoned her.

"Hermione, there you are. I've been looking for you..." Luna's voice took her back to reality.

How had she even got here, so silently?

She let go of Draco's hand.

"Luna what are you doing?"

"I was wondering where you were spending your days, but I couldn't seem to find you outside lessons. So I thought: where would I be, if I were Hermione? And I immediately came here."

"Well, I only just arrived." she lied. "I just thought I'd check on him..."

"Is that why you were holding his hand?" she asked innocently in her dreamy voice.

"Oh..."

Luna got closer. "My mum, always used to say we shouldn't be afraid of our feelings for someone, whoever that might be."

"Luna, I-"

"Because love is such a beautiful thing, so why hide it? If it were me, I'd have nargles and wrackspurts telling anyone they met."

_Love? No, no. I love Ronald._

"Luna, as I said I was only checking on him." she mumbled.

"Well, from time, to time we are all wrong..." Hermione nodded. "But this time, I don't think I am..."

Luna had a way of understanding things, of seeing people like no one else could. Maybe she was right, but she wasn't ready to admit it to herself.

"Luna... I, well thanks. Just please don't tell anyone I'm here, will you?" she slowly took Draco's hand into hers, instinctevely.

She nodded and before skipping away, she glanced back to Hermione.

"Hmm, I hope there's pudding tonight!"

_**So... what did you think? Please review! ;)**_


End file.
